Simon Ward reviews Stanislavski Can’t Save Me from the Apocalypse at the Barons Court Theatre

Written and directed by Maggie Dickinson, Stanislavski Can’t Save Me from the Apocalypse is a dark comedy based partly on what must be Dickinson’s lived experience of Theatre Camp. That curious American obsession with spending as little time as possible with their children results in the emergence of camps of all descriptions where your tweenage darlings can nurture whatever talents they may have. Outdoor fun, lifelong friendships forged, a starring role in a show, what could be more fun? That is, until the apocalypse hits, and you realise that you are stranded in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of ‘adults’ barely older than you with infection in the form of deadly hives approaching and food running out. How is your stagecraft going to help you now?

The setup is that we, the audience, are the stranded early teenagers sent to Maine and the camp counsellors are busy keeping us occupied to take our minds off the situation. It is not quite clear how much the children actually know about what is going on, and there does not seem to be too much mutiny in the ranks, although, as things deteriorate we can assume this a worry. In the meantime we continue to be marshalled, primarily by Mary (Frankie Minnock). She is armed with a megaphone, although thankfully it is not switched on in the cosy environs of the Barons Court cellar rooms. As the oldest of the camp counsellors, she has assumed control, although her status is relatively lowly in the group because she has a behind-the-scenes role in running the tech. Nevertheless, her skillset is closest to what they need right now.

The other counsellors all deal with the chaos in their own ways, mostly absurdly badly. It will take more than an apocalypse to change their Theatre Kid attitudes. Thoroughly in denial is Dani (Christie Griffin), resplendent in her Pink Ladies jacket from Grease. Likewise Claire (Lydia Hopgood), whom we first encounter tearfully explaining how to transform oneself from the mouse you really are to the bear you wish you could be. Elizabeth (Cate Johannessen, who also produces) is an incorrigible luvvie with a fixation on the part of Cinderella in Sondheim’s Into The Woods. Only Erika (Molly Wolff) seems to have any useful skills – she can wield a bow and arrow with some aplomb, even if her quiver is a Hunter welly.

This is a very funny show about, and for, theatre geeks. But not only them. It also asks the question where would any of us end up, in extremis, when all the basic building blocks of our lives are taken away. Certainly the campers are probably better off in the woods by a lake than stuck in a city. They fall back on what they know, which sometimes really does help. When the crew put aside their differences for a moment and sing together, it is genuinely moving, and a testament to the power of performing together. Which is a brief respite, as most of the play is spent pointing out how utterly useless their skills are in the new world – there is a funny scene where Erika is desperately but vainly trying to persuade her charges to learn real, rather than stage, fighting techniques.

The piece is cleverly structured in reverse – we start about a month into the apocalypse and move backwards in time to before they even knew, when everything was normal. Aided by some superb acting, the time shift makes us invest in the characters more as the show progresses – we learn how the awful monsters we see have been created by their extreme circumstances. We come to know some of their hopes and dreams, thwarted love affairs and travel plans, which lends poignancy to this hilariously absurd send-up.

Stanislavski Can’t Save Me from the Apocalypse is running at the Barons Court Theatre, 28a Comeragh Rd, London W14 9HR u ntil Saturday 9th May