Number 1: Sleeping Booty

Martin Witts & Lesley Ackland for Leicester Square Theatre presents Sleeping Booty!… all it takes is a prick!

The Evil Mangelina (Miss Dusty ‘O’), is wreaking havoc over our precious, perverted pantoland, ruling with an unruly and slippery iron fist … Ouch mama! Together with her randy but downtrodden sidekick Tit-Bit, she presides over proceedings in the filthiest manner! That is until Booty! arrives, a chavtastic ladette from the skanky Estate Upon Gusset. This gurl is gangsta down to the grill, apart from a slightly hindering narcoleptic defect; she’s got it all including a killer, magical booty that will make any aspiring anaconda rise!

Guided by the legendary lounge singer Fairy Muff, Booty! enlists new friends, the sexually ambiguous Prince Willie Wontie and You Look Familiar to help her discover the magical yet mythical island, Flickerty Clit and once and for all get completely and utterly pricked!

SLEEPING BOOTY! Plays at Leicester Square Theatre from Tuesday 25 November – Saturday 17 January

Number 2: Cinderella and the Beanstalk

Award-winning comedy trio Sleeping Trees are doing a pantomime.  But this is a three-man pantomime with a twist!   This world premiere (also Theatre503’s first ever festive family show), directed by critically-acclaimed Tom Attenborough, blends the classic elements of a well-loved pantomime with an astonishing range of fast paced, physical and bare-knuckled comedy. Join them in a glorious cocktail of everyone’s favourite pantomimes.

Cinderella and the Beanstalk plays at Theatre 503 2nd December – 10th January

Number 3: Billy the Kid: A Western Panto

Mosey on down to Rosemary Branch Theatre – the gold old Rosey B Ranch – where the scene is set for Charles Court Opera’s eighth annual panto.

This year, it’s rip snortin’, whip crackin’ Billy The Kid – A Panto Western, running from Friday 28 November – Saturday 10 January, complete with swinging saloon doors, bar room brawls, cowboys, Indians, duels at dawn and jaw-dropping musical numbers from pop to opera.

From adults only performances through to children’s matinees, CCO’s boutique pantos are perfect for families, couples, groups of friends or office parties.

BILLY THE KID – A PANTO WESTERN plays at Rosemary Branch Theatre from Friday 28 November – Saturday 10 January

Number 4: Treasure Island – The Curse of the Pearl Necklace

Jim Hawkins wants adventure! Tired of swallowing seamen’s stories in his mum’s hotel on the Cornish coast, he gets his hands on a sailor’s chest and discovers a mysterious treasure map. Will he find riches? Sunshine? Speedo-clad men in the sand-dunes? Only if he can beat John Silver, a charismatic and curiously disabled pirate – and a very nautical boy.

Outrageous, romantic and very silly, Above The Stag’s acclaimed Christmas shows are a hugely popular festive treat.

TREASURE ISLAND – THE CURSE OF THE PEARL NECKLACE plays at Above the Stag Theatre from November 28^th 2014 – January 10th 2015

Number 5: Booty And The Biatch

Excess All Areas and Paul L Martin present the 14th of their now iconic, adult pantomimes, Booty And The Biatch; the perfect antidote to the festive season’s barrage of saccharine, family-friendly fare.

Booty, whose derriere is not slight, is saving up to read books at Oxbridge by nicking things and selling them on Ebay. Her father, Maurice, is on a promise with Mary Berry, so she heads out for the Great British Bake-Off tent on his horse, Cheryl Cole. He discovers a palace populated by an overly sexed teapot and her fellow servants who tend to ‘The Biatch’. When they finally meet, will Booty fall for this vile queen or turn instead to the Spandex-clad eurosceptic Garage instead?

Booty & The Biatch plays at the Lost Theatre from December 14th – 17th 2014, 8:15pm